Always see “real women” posts so here’s one for the dudes.
this says so much. I wish there were more posts like this. please.
body positivity and realistic body standards are important for guys too!
Men are constantly reassured that it’s okay to oogle women and harrass them about their looks. Women rarely see sexualized images of men that are made for women.
Guys get eye candy everywhere they go. Their sexual gaze is constantly catered to. Women, at least hetero women, are rarely given the opportunity to have their sexual interest entertained. We’re told that we should be okay with having nothing to look at. That our fantasies don’t matter. That we shouldn’t ever even remotely expect to be able to eyeball a svelte man in public, only behind closed doors and heaven forbid that the man look vulnerable. So we finally get to see images that turn us on and people are like, “Hey, you can’t put that in magazines! that might hurt some little boy’s feelings!”
Men are given alternative physical images to aspire to. Women are not.
While yes, guys should be treated to body positivity too… they already are. Just watch TV or any comedy and count the number of pudgy, out of shape, male leads vs pudgy, out of shape female leads. Or the number of hairy, overweight, older men making block buster movies vs the number of hairy, overweight, older women. Now count how many times that male character has some incredibly smart, sexy wife who does everything for him. And then how many times she’s the butt of the joke when he gets hot for some woman who’s younger and thinner than she is.
Fuck, just look at the responses to women not shaving their legs vs the responses to guys not shaving off their stubble.
Name six movies about a woman above the age of forty who’s love interest is a man that’s younger than she is where the plot doesn’t revolve around her being the butt of a cougar or mom joke. Now name me six where a man over the age of forty’s love interest is a woman who’s significantly younger than he is. Bonus points for action movies where anyone in the movie makes a mention of the age difference.
How many times are male politician or CEO’s body or style of dress put into question? How many times are female’s? Or has everyone forgotten how we flip out when the president’s wife gets a new hair cut? Or how Hillary Clinton had to have a FUCKING MAKE OVER before the news agencies took her seriously? How many times was her daughter raked over the coals for looking like an average teenager?
What’s more, I’ve never heard any of my female friends or my mother and her female friends saying, “Why can’t my 50 year old husband get a six pack like that?” What I USUALLY here is “I wish my husband would get a nice hair cut.” or “I wish he’d wear some nicer clothes that actually fit him.”
But what i hear overhear men saying all time is, “No fat chicks!” or “I wish my wife had bigger boobs.”
I know a woman who’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t get a face lift and a boob job- she was so upset that she did it. She felt disgusting every day because she wasn’t a size six and he expected her to be a size six after bearing him four kids. My own uncle said if his wife got overweight that he’d drag her behind a car until she lost weight. These aren’t even “bad guys”! They seem like perfectly nice men when you meet them! But they’re taught from the moment they’re kids that all women need to be a certain body type to be worthy of any attention.
Men are told through our culture’s stories and media that a woman will still love them unconditionally and throw themselves at them if they’re fat, old, balding, or an asshole, while women are told that if they’re pushy, fat, old or wearing out of style clothes that they aren’t even worth mentioning.
obvs it’s important for body positivity to include everyone of any gender identity but this commentary is super important to remember ^
It’s also important to remember that male actors who aren’t toned or thin still get respect and aren’t pigeon-holed into playing horribly flat fat characters. They can take roles that aren’t intrinsically about the character being fat and they won’t be ridiculed for that role for the rest of their career (think Gabourey Sibide and Precious, and how people just call her “precious” in interviews and crap like that). Actresses and female celebrities are expected to be thin.
I’d like to point out that these images of idealized male models occur within the exact same subject-object context as idealized female body images. That is, achieving an idealized body is, for women, framed in terms of being attractive to men. For men, achieving this idealized body is also framed in terms of the approval of other men, in that “other men” as a peer group functions as a gatekeeper of masculine identity, and that peer group is referenced to ascertain and verify masculine norms as they apply to a man’s body.
If you have an idealized masculine body, you’re probably very attractive to a lot of heterosexual women but the value of that body is not dependent on the approval of women. It is dependent on the perceived power of that body to sexually acquire women (and other acts of physical ability) and how that externally verifies masculine identity.Masculinity all comes back to power and control, every damn time.
Reblogging for above commentary
The Justice Society of America—now featured on a very special episode of Hollywood Squares! (And WHO do you think that is under Dr. Fate’s helmet? Yup, Paul Lynde!…)
Moon Zero Two (1969)
In honor of the ladies who have motivated, paved the way and given hope to so many of us, we rounded up powerful quotes from some of the world’s most inspirational women.